Being a foster parent is a rewarding way to give back to children who have been exposed to neglect or abuse. They deserve a safe place to try to heal while their parents (or other family members) try to get their lives back on track. Most often the children go back to family once it's safe to do so and then, less frequently, they take the path towards adoption. I have had the pleasure of parenting many children who have been reunified and lucky enough to have adopted one out of the foster care system. Both sets of experiences have helped shape my life and who I am today and I want to share some of the many blessings here so that if you are ever looking for a way to give back, you might consider becoming a foster parent.
More often than not after someone hears that I am a foster parent, they say something along the lines of - " I could never DO that! How can you give them up?" My answer has always been that "you just love them"...struggling and scared as they might be, you just love them right where they are. Some children come to you with a lot of baggage, and others less, but this is an opportunity to give back to those who don't always have a voice for themselves. You have to have compassion and an open heart when the kids are tough (and some are!) however, for me, the experience of being a foster parent has been far more rewarding than I could have ever expected. Whether the child stays for a moment or a lifetime, there are blessings!
Most foster children are ultimately reunified with their families. For these kiddos I have provided a period in time (ranging from a few days - my shortest was only 4 days for a child whom I was told had no extended family and the longest stay, well, its been 6 years and counting!) where they had a safe place to land and be a kid amidst whatever crisis their family was working through. I feel that this is the biggest point I can make - they are children and are only little once. So let's let them be little!
As for the sweetie I have parented for over 6 years now through several failed attempts at reunification with birth family, I just pray. I pray as hard as I can that as I watch this child grow up and struggle with a hard reality that when the times comes to once again to let go I can "just love" the child. It's likely that sometime in the near future I will get a call asking to be a safe place for this kiddo once more. The merry-go-round that is this child's life has been hard on both of us - it's aged me quite frankly - but with an open heart I believe obstacles can and will be overcome and this experience has been no different!
Lastly, for the one child I have been blessed to have adopted out of foster care, I will always be thankful for the birth parents! For you see - though I started this journey in hopes of finding a way to give back for all that I have been given, I have received blessings many times over. For this one child I never have to give up, I can continue to "just love him" as long as I live! YAY!
The experience of parenting children in both short and long-term foster placements has been amazing! There are alot of kiddos that need safe homes and that there are many foster parent angels that make me look like a slacker (in terms of the sheer numbers of kiddos they have helped) but overall I am thankful for the experience and blessing that has come from both the giving and receiving that being a foster parent has provided in my life. These are the reasons I like being a foster parent. Maybe you could open your heart and home?
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You can't complain about things unless you are willing to open your heart and be proactive. Be the solution, not the proverbial salt on the wound (Abused and neglected children). When someone asks how you could be a foster parent when you know the child will leave one day? Tell those people that you're not selfish, it's not about yourself, but in fact has everything to do with the child that doesn't have a voice and very little to NO rights. As you can probably attest, Nat. Some of the foster homes are the pits! Nasty places I wouldn't let my dog go near, much less a child. If you want to do something for your community, for someone in dire straights and for yourself? Please consider being a foster parent. They need loving homes and advocates that will help those that don't know how to help themselves or articulate their emotions. It's the most rewarding and selfless act you could do in your lifetime and the rewards are amazing! These kids will always remember that someone loves them.
ReplyDeleteI might add that with the good comes some bad. Don't let this dissuade you from doing the right thing, though. God gave us all two hands. One to help ourselves and the other to help others. Be it buying a meal for a homeless person. Be the hands and feet. The good outweighs the bad, by far. We have God in our corner, so through Him all things are possible.
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